An acquaintance approached me this week seeking my “wisdom” on particular matter. I was somewhat taken aback. Wisdom? What qualifies a person to be wise? Is it when you’ve grown up as opposed to just growing old? Is intelligence, power, and worldly success the essence of wisdom?
The ancient Chinese Philosopher Lao Tzu said that knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power, and that if you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich. Shakespeare wrote, “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” In a similar vein, Socrates taught that the only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing, but wonder is where one encounters the beginning of wisdom. Kalil Gibran put it this way, “I AM IGNORANT of absolute truth. But I am humble before my ignorance and therein lies my honor and my reward.”
I do believe that a time comes in most of our lives when we finally begin to get it…when, in the midst of all our fears and insanity, we stop dead in our tracks and somewhere the voice inside our head cries out…ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, we blink back our tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This I believe to be the awakening of wisdom.
Wisdom is awakening when we begin to realize that it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon. When we realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with ourselves…and in the process wisdom allows us to experience a sense of serenity born of acceptance.
Wisdom also wakes when we acknowledge the fact that we are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what we are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. When we learn the importance of loving and championing ourselves, and, in that process, wisdom provides us with a sense of new found confidence born of our self-approval.
Wisdom rouses when we stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to us – or didn’t do for us – and we learn that the only thing we can really count on in our worldly life is the unexpected. When we learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for us and everything isn’t always about us. When we learn to stand on our own and to take care of ourselves…and in that process wisdom provides us with the sense of safety and security which is harvested from our self-reliance.
Wisdom begins to stir once we stop judging and pointing fingers and we begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process wisdom gives us a sense of peace and contentment that is born as a result of our embracement of forgiveness.
Wisdom is aroused when we learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. When we begin reassessing and redefining who we are and what we really stand for. When we learn the difference between wanting and needing. When we learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and when we stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for our next fix.
Wisdom is stirred when we learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which a fulfilling life can only be built. When we learn that we don’t know everything, and it’s not our job to save the world and that we can’t teach pigs to fly, but we can change much within and without us by being generous and caring and dedicating ourselves to a cause greater than ourselves.
Wisdom arrives once we learn about true love. When we learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as we would have them be. When we learn that, for some, alone does not mean lonely. When we stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. When we learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO as readily as we say “yes” when “no” is the more appropriate response.
Wisdom surfaces when we learn that, for the most part, we get in and out of life what we deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is far different than working toward making it happen.
Most importantly, Wisdom awakens once we learn that in order to achieve success we need both corporeal and spiritual direction, discipline and perseverance and once we learn that none of us can make it alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking often for help from others and from God.
Wisdom is stimulated when we learn the only thing we must truly fear is fear itself. When we learn to step right into and through our fears because we know that whatever happens we can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on our own terms. Wisdom embraces us when we learn to fight for our life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
Wisdom is guiding us when we learn that life isn’t always fair, that we don’t always get what we think we deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and we learn not to always take it personally. When we learn that nobody’s punishing us and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening.
Wisdom leads us once we learn to admit when we are wrong and we begin to build bridges instead of walls.
Wisdom is present when we learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of us and poison the universe that surrounds us. When we learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we have heretofore taken for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower, the freedom to speak our minds, to succeed, to fail, and to resurrect ourselves from any setback or defeat.
Wisdom embraces us once we begin to take responsibility for ourselves and when we make a promise to never betray ourselves and to never, ever settle for less than our very best.
Wisdom is by our side when we make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, Wisdom has our back when, with courage in our heart, we take a stand, we take a deep breath, and we begin to design the life we want to live as best as we can.
No, I am not wise, for I have not mastered near enough of wisdom’s qualities to claim possession of it, although I am grateful that I know enough about wisdom to consider it a valued friend that is always sought, welcomed, and needed in my both my heart and soul.
“This being human is a guest house. Every morning is a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor…Welcome and entertain them all. Treat each guest honorably. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.” -Rumi
Have an awe-full weekend!
William J. “Bill” Bacque’